It Never Goes Away

— I wrote this article earlier this year (in September 2020), but I thought I would publish it, today. —

Have you had a child who is no longer alive?  Today is September 11, 2020 – 9/11.  Today, former Vice President Biden was talking with a 90-year-old woman about the loss of his first wife and of his children when he said, “It never goes away.”  The son of the 90-year-old woman was killed in the 9-11 attack on America.  “It never goes away.”  She agreed with Biden.  “It never goes away.”

A glioblastoma took the life of my second child about five years ago.  Diagnosed in January, her life was taken by November of that year.  What Biden and the woman said is true – it never goes away.

Jane was an office manager for years for our state’s medical board.  She was in charge of complaints against medical personnel; doctors, if you will.    When she retired, she felt a call to become a Presbyterian minister.  She had been serving a local shelter for homeless men as their chaplain.

 

She enrolled in the program at Union Presbyterian Seminary in Richmond, Virginia.  Her first class that summer was ancient Hebrew.  A tough class.  She had to learn words written in characters completely foreign to her only language of English.  And, all of it right to left, rather than left to right!  I remember many panic conversations about that class.  Her grade in ancient Hebrew lost her the full scholarship that was paying for her education.

She had shared her great concern with another classmate who took it upon himself to talk with the professor about this “anonymous” student’s concern.  That student later shared information with her that the professor told him he knew who this anonymous student was.  And, that the course grade aside, she was the best, most conscientious student he’d ever had; she was going to be okay, the professor said.  Of course, that didn’t get her scholarship back.

By the end of her first year, she was asked by a Richmond Presbyterian church to substitute for a vacationing minister.  She sent videos of her sermons.  She was good at this and, I believe, would have been a wonderful minister, had the Lord allowed her to finish her program.

But, that was not to be.  Her telephone call THAT night telling us that she was in the hospital set in motion a lot of activity.  Thankfully, I had retired at that time and could leave on a moment’s notice.  My son-in-law arranged for my flight to Richmond the next morning.  I was there for the surgery to remove as much of the tumor that could be taken.  Her dad arrived as soon as he could leave our home and his job; he stayed a few days and went back home to take care of hearth and home and dogs.

When she was allowed to travel, I put her on an airplane, alone, believing that help would be available from people on the airplane – and, it was.  I drove her car home.  I took her to medical treatments, knowing it was only a matter of time before the tumor grew again and took her life..  She spent the last weeks of her life in a nursing home, which had good and bad happenings.  And, then, she was gone.

Joe Biden is right.  It never goes away.

Be safe and well.

The Cranky Crone

If you have thoughtful feedback or questions, please let me know with a comment