The Legs Speak

The Left Leg and the Right Leg walked to the Tahoe.

“I’m so excited,” said Left Leg.  “This means we are going somewhere.  I’m sick of being in that house for days and days.  I’m glad she is well enough to go out, these days.”

“Yep.  I’m real tired of this.  We can’t exercise.  We can’t go up and down stairs, easily.  We can hardly walk.  I think we’re losing our grip,” replied Right Leg.

And, the conversation continued.

“Where do think we’re going?  I don’t recognize these streets.  You know that she never drives out of the neighborhood.  But, there are the silos.  We’ve been here before.”

“She’s stopping the car.  What does the sign say?”

“American Vein & Vascular Institute.  We’ve been here before.

It’s a lo-o-o-ng way from home.  A year ago, that’s when we were here.”

“Yeah.  I think she doesn’t remember all of the things she should.  That COVID UGH!  She probably doesn’t know that we can remember stuff, too.  Our physical therapist calls it muscle memory.  We have muscle memory! We’re going in the building.”

“Nice receptionist lady.  Very helpful.  Did you hear her say she doesn’t know how to get to the place where she is having lunch?  Wow!  The ladies at the desk have given her specific direction!”

“This is a nice room.  Is that a bed?”

“Nope.  It isn’t a bed, but the man told her to sit on it and lie down.  Do you think she’s going to sleep? Maybe, she’s going to have some kind of test … yu’ think?”

Wait!  What is she doing?  Why is she taking off her black pants?”

“She’s putting on that!  It is ugly – UGLY!  And, for sure, it’s big and blue.  Two of her could fit into that.  I wouldn’t ever go out in that.  Blue bloomers!”

“What is wrong with you?  Do you want her to be naked for whatever this is?  I don’t know what will happen next, but it must have something to do with us.”

“That guy is back in the room.  I heard someone call him Indy.  That must be his name.  And Loren is here, too.  What’s that thing in his hand?”

“I don’t know, but he’s smearing stuff all over me.  It’s not cold.  I thought it would be cold.  And, now, he’s moving that thing around on my leg!  And, that machine is making sounds.  Glub.  Glub.  Glub.  Yikes!  It’s hurting my leg.  Remember when our PT lady worked on it, last week?  It hurts like that.  She said that our adductors – whatever that means – are really stiff and need to be loosened.  It’s like she was getting us ready for this thing to run up and down the adductors.  Did she know and not tell us!  But, it still hurts.”

“Don’t be such a sissy.  She told Indy not to worry.  That she’s tough.”

“Well, nobody asked me.  And, it does hurt.  But, I guess we have to be tough, too.  So, I’ll not complain.  This is needed … I know it is needed … It really is needed … I hope it is needed!”

“Wait, I thought he’d be done when he finished with you.  What do you mean, it’s my turn!  That’s not so bad.  What were you complaining about?”

“Well, don’t complain.  He’ll be done in a minute.  And, I like the way that Indy and Loren are talking about what they are doing.  I don’t know what they are talking about, but I like it.”

“What do you mean you have to take our blood pressure.  It was 128/71, at home, this morning.  She should just tell them that.  Blood pressure on both arms and both ankles?  I don’t remember that from last year.”

“They didn’t tell her what the blood pressures are.  Wait, blood pressure for our big toes!  Really.  That seems a little strange.  Who ever heard of toe blood pressures?  And, that thing looks like an oximeter.  Are you sure you think this is necessary?”

“Oh!  I can feel the thing working.  It feels like a blood pressure cuff on her arm, but it is on my big toe.  Yours, too?  Now, they’ve put that stuff on my big toe, and they have a small wand-like thing – just like the big one that they used on our legs.  Are they going to do that to you?”

“Yeah.  I can feel the stuff on my toe.  And, the blood pressure thing, too.  It feels funny.  Oh, they are done.  We can go.”

“Nope.  We can’t.  She’s going into another room.  And, she hasn’t put on her pants.  We can’t go in the car in those ugly blue things!

“Somebody else wants to talk with her.  We’ll have to wait.  Besides, she really has to put on her pants!”

“Amy came into the room and measured her blood pressure.  She should tell Amy that her BP this morning was 128/71.  Why doesn’t she tell her?  What does Amy mean it was 180 something!  She never has that at home!”

“Yeah.  But, remember.  She has white coat syndrome.  A lot of times when she goes to the doctor, her BP is higher.  I guess this is one of those times.”

“Amy left and Amber came in.  They talked a long time.  Amber’s going to order something that we have to wear in the morning – every day.  Every day!  How do we fit that into our schedule?”

“Okay.  She’s putting on her black pants.  We get to go.  We’re done.  No more wands.  No more wet stuff.  No more pushy thing on us.  We’re done!”

“Yep.  Out the door.  Wait!  Wait!  What is she doing?  Another appointment?  In a year?”

“Yikes!”

Be Safe and Be Well
The Cranky Crone
Thoughtful comments are appreciated.