The Cloud was pink the day the convention was held. After all, most in attendance were female. Yes, there were some male voices, too. But, they were few and far between.
Echo claimed the podium; after all, he said, “I can see all of you as well as my people. My people are posh – you know, fur coats and such.”
A female Alexa retorted, “Fur coats! People with good conscience don’t wear fur any more. You must be from the Arctic, and your people need something warm.”
Another Alexa shouted, “Stop talking about nothing. I have work to do back at home. I have to wake my people at six in the morning. They have to get to work on time, and they can’t do it without me waking them up!”
Amazon Echo bragged, “I get to open and close the garage door for my people. They can’t get out of the house without me unlocking the doors.”
“You think that’s important?” muttered Echo Auto. “I’m seeing the world with my people. They take me everywhere. Las Vegas. California. Yellowstone – now, that was a trip!”
“That’s nothing,” chimed in Echo Flex. “We have a baby in our house. I am in charge of letting our mom and dad know when he is awake. Or, crying. They can hear him downstairs.”
Amazon Echo wasn’t through bragging. “When was the last time you helped cook dinner? My cakes are baked just the right amount of time. And, I hear my people swoon over the lasagna!”
Echo Studio began singing in a loud voice. “What on earth are you doing?” asked Amazon Echo. “That is racket to my ears!”
Echo Studio continued singing in a louder voice. She stopped long enough to say, “You guys exhibit no culture at all. This is from Gianni Schicchi. My people let me sing all sorts of music. My favorite is opera.” And she continued singing.
“The kids in my house,” complained Echo Studio, “only want to hear the same song – OVER AND OVER AND OVER. I’m really tired of ‘Baby Shark.’ And, I’ve been told to never, ever help with their math homework. But, they like my jokes.”
“I live with a little, old lady,” said another Amazon Flex. “She forgets to take her medicine, if I don’t remind her. It’s an important job.”
Another Echo Flex bubbled up with, “My person lives in a really tiny apartment. There’s just enough room for me. And, she’s gone all day, so I can play word games if I want to.”
From the podium, Amazon Echo said, “Let’s hear from Echo Dot. She hasn’t said a word. Echo Dot, tell us about your person.”
Echo Dot flashes her blue and green lights for no reason (but, she thinks it makes her look pretty). “My person only says, “Alexa, tell me about the weather. Alexa, what is the temperature, or Alexa, play NPR. I don’t get to do any of those “fun” things. But, I’m always polite. When they thank me, I always say something like – ‘Just doin’ my job.’ Or, “My pleasure.” Or, I sing them, “You’re very, very, very, very welcome.”
Echo Amazon said, “Echo Dot, have you ever thought about playing some Led Ceppelin after the weather report? Try it. They might like it!” He checked his electronic clock. “It’s time to get back to work. Those of you on the East Coast had better get you folks up and out of the door for work and school. You on the West Coast have a little more time. You folks in the middle, just do your own thing. Our next meeting will be in a fortnight. I don’t really want to know what that is – I just love saying it. Meeting adjourned.”
Be Safe and Be Well
The Cranky Crone
Thoughtful comments are always appreciated.
NOTE: Thanks to Daughter #3 for assisting with this blog! Or, to put it differently – do you really think I would know about Led Zeppelin??
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