Today, I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist, Mimi. I have AMD – at least that’s what I think it’s called. Anyway, I think of it as macular degeneration. And, mine has just become the wet kind, requiring an injection in one eye or the other every four-to-six weeks. Generally, I drive home with no difficulty; have done it many, many times.
Today, as it turned out, it was time to dilate both eyes – an occurrence that I had not planned for when I left home for my appointment. I always know that’s a possible consideration, but my thinking is that it’s okay. I’ve driven home lots of times with both eyes dilated. I can still see.
I don’t drive on high-speed highways anymore. I take the streets, even for appointments as far away as Mimi’s office, located on the western side of the metro area about twelve miles from my house. It’s pretty much a straight shot there. North on Logan; west on Alameda. No problem!
I arrived on time – before, actually. I always attempt to get to medical appointments ahead of the exact time. If the doc is not running late, I always get in early. I finished the check-in procedure and waited only a short time before being called into the pre-testing room. Back out to the waiting room after the short test. Then, called into the examination room where D.J. took preliminary information, checking to be sure that I was actually me – you know. Name. Birthdate.
That accomplished the glaucoma test was performed – no problem there. Then, I was surprised because both eyes were dilated. Well, I reasoned, it has been a year, so it’s time. A sticker was also placed above my left eye – the eye that is the worst of the two. That’s the eye that will have the injection for the mac. A tiny cotton ball with some kind of numbing solution was put in the corner of my left eye with specific instructions to keep the eye shut. Mimi would be in in a few minutes to put the injection into the eye, and I’d be done and could go home.
Surprise! Another assistant came in another sticker – for the right eye. Meaning – an injection in both eyes. Same instruction. Keep your eyes closed for the deadening product to work. So, I did.
Mimi arrived with the injections and did the deed, assuring me once again that, no, I was not going to be blind – I ask her that a lot. After a short conversation about the two questions I had for her, she left and I gathered my belongings to go home.
I knew that with dilated eyes, I’d need to use my sunglasses, so when I got to the car I traded my regular glasses for them. There was some glare, but I figured I could handle it and drove out of the parking lot to the street, guarded by a stop sign.
It was at that moment, I knew I was in trouble – real trouble! My vision was terrible. While I could seem shapes, I didn’t know how I was going to be able to see traffic lights, know when to stop and go, know that I was in a correct driving lane.
I immediately became frightened – terrified, really! How was I going to get home driving those twelve miles. Driving to the office, I’d had to navigate a road closure – down to one lane from two. While driving that lane closure, I knew that I’d need to do the same going back home on the other side of the street, headed east.
So, here I was, driving almost blind to get home. I considered pulling into a parking lot and calling Daughter #1, but realized that she was reading to children, today. She would not be able to leave her post. Also, she’d need to have someone drive her to wherever I was so that she could drive my car home; have them pick her up … a conundrum! So, I kept driving.
I remember another time when driving in a snow storm on Monarch Pass with my sister and two of my nieces, that the snow was so bad, the pass road was closed – AFTER we had started up the hill. And, at that time, we did not have four-wheel-drive in our vehicle. It was simply a sedan with regular drive. It was, indeed, driving blind. But, we made it. I probably should have turned around to go back down to Salida, but, obviously, didn’t have the “smarts” to think that through. I promised myself that I’d NEVER do that again. And, here, today, I was doing just that. Instead of snow, I was dealing with traffic.
Over the years, we learn some things about driving in difficult situations. Things like – drive slowly. Be aware of an approaching intersection and whether a traffic light was green, yellow, or red. Rely to a great degree on the other cars. Are they stopping for a light? Are they ready to move on. Do they have lights on during the day so that you even know there is a vehicle in front of you or beside you.
Changing lanes could have been incredibly frightening. Would other drivers let me in – even though I didn’t know that they were there? In all of my blind journey home, I only remember having to change lanes twice. And, each time, there were no cars showing in my exterior, rear-view mirrors. At least, I didn’t crash into any other car – or the drivers let me in.
In addition to using the location of the other cars and watching for their brake lights, I used the street markings to know where I was. The white, repeating lines between traffic lanes and the yellow lines indicating “Do not cross this line” were very important to my getting home.
Changing lanes to the left was not such a problem. I could actually see the road and whether there was a car or not. To the right – UGHHH! I couldn’t see anything to the right. Fortunately, the one time I needed to move to the right, either the driver let me in because that is where the construction was … or there was no car there. I really don’t know.
You’ve heard the expression “on a wing and a prayer.” Well, this journey was definitely that – without wings. Prayer? Oh, yes. You can bet that prayer was a constant through the whole ordeal. When I arrived home, pulled into the garage, I did give thanks for being guided to my home from the appointment.
I can never remember being so frightened for so long in my life of eighty-seven years. And, sitting here at the computer, writing this blog, I can say – I WILL NEVER, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!
Be Safe and Be Well
The Cranky Crone
Thoughtful comments are always appreciated.
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